13 June 2014

Happy 6th Birthday

This beautiful boy turned six today.




What a joy it is to see him grow and mature. He is becoming a fine little man. The progress he's made over the last year has been pretty cool to watch.


A tiny little newborn, six years ago

Elliot, my boy, I don't have many words this year (we can blame that on having all of us been sick for the last week) but I do hope you know how special you are. You are an incredible child, and I look forward to seeing who you grow up to be.

All my love, always,
Mummy

04 June 2014

These Two



A sister and her little brother. A brother and his big sister. These two have a very sweet bond.




I hope I never forget the way she would hold her newborn brother and just sit so quietly and so still. The way she watches for him and gets down on the floor to play with him. I hope I never forget the way his face lights up when he catches sight of her. The way he reaches out for her hand in the car.




I hope they never do either.

22 May 2014

One Year At School



Can you believe Elliot has been at school for a whole year already?! I took these photos exactly a year apart: 6 May, 2013, and 6 May, 2014. Look how much he grew!



I'm proud of this boy. He has come such a long way since starting school as an almost-five year old last year.





12 May 2014

Babies Don't Keep



This boy is such a treasure. In just a few short months, Gryffen will be one whole year old and we will begin to leave babyhood behind. I have cherished all my babies, but this little one a bit more so as I have bittersweet-ly (that's a word, right?) come to realise just how quickly these snuggly, sweet-smelling times are passed by.



I'm so glad I've finally worked my priorities out right in time to enjoy it properly.

Song for A Fifth Child
by Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't [his] eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
But children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

* * *

I have that last stanza printed and hung on the wall in Gryffen's room. Every time I walk into his room with him I read it and stand a bit longer with him in my arms before I put him down into his bed. I've said it before and I'll say it again: these really are 'the good old days.' And I love them so much.

28 April 2014

Summer: Rosie's 4th Birthday

Another post from our summer that I'm finally getting around to catching up on the blog: Rosie turned four!

My beautiful daughter has grown so much - kids have a habit of doing that, huh? I think the change between three and four is quite remarkable. Toddlerhood is left behind and Childhood comes to the fore. My Rosie is growing into quite the little lady.

We had a lovely day celebrating with family. Rosie is a very shy wee thing, so even though she loves her family the most, she still tries to hide behind me when she knows we're all looking at her - like singing happy birthday and unwrapping presents. Most of those photos of all her birthdays so far have her burying her face into my neck. Sweet, funny little girl.


Lucky Rosie got to enjoy having her Auntie Sarah here, all the way from London! She enjoyed opening up her present from the other side of the world!

Rosie's favourite animal is a hippo, so we decided on a pink hippo cake - because although I'd like to do a whole themed party with lovely decorations and other theme-y things, I know that ain't gonna happen! Thankfully, she was super-impressed with her cake!




From her Poppa (my Dad), Rosie started a lovely collection of Sylvanian Family toys. I had a little house when I was a girl which I had passed on to Rosie so we decided to fill it up with a new family and some furniture. It's so sweet! There's something about miniature things that I just love. She plays for hours with it, sitting quietly at the table. (Until she screams at one of her brothers to get away before they ruin it. That's not so peaceful.)



Rosie-girl, you are a lovely ray of pink sunshine in our family. You are sweet and shy and mostly enjoy playing by yourself, but you can run a great game by bossing your brothers around! You love to be surrounded by your family and you always make sure that everyone is happy and safe. You have a really special bond with Gryffen and never like to go to kindy in the morning until you've said goodbye to him, even if he's not awake yet. You are very tall and your blonde hair has a lovely gentle curl, though you hate it when I brush it, even though I try to be gentle. You absorb everything around you, often spouting spelling words and maths sums to surprise me with your knowledge! I think you are an empathetic little soul, having a deep sense of emotions for yourself and others. Not that that means you are always the embodiment of patience and kindness, but that I see you have an awareness of feelings. We just need to work on the way you express them, my little wildcat.

I feel so blessed to have you as a daughter, my Rosie. You bring such a wonderful dynamic into our family. And how spoiled will you be with three brothers to protect you one day?! Your Papa and I pray for another fun-filled, joyful year of growing and learning with you. We pray that He would make Himself known to you and that your heart would always be Spirit-filled. We love you, my girl.

15 April 2014

One Year Ago...

Today marks the day that, one year ago, Hayden came off his bike on the road on the way to school, ending up with a serious concussion and a smashed up face.



What a year we had. It was certainly a tough one - though there was the highlight of gorgeous Gryffen's arrival into our family. I am thankful that amid the hard slog of dragging my family through a concussion recovery and newborn arrival, I can testify to God's grace as He carried us through. I learned a lot last year and am really thankful for the lessons I learned as we muddled through.



Utmost is a sense of gratitude for my little family. How close we came to being fatherless! You just never know what's around the corner do you? Family time is very precious.

I have learned to be uber-productive. For quite a few months I was it: Chief Job-Doer. Everything that needed to be done needed to be done by me. Throw a few kids in the mix and I became excellent at getting ALL THE THINGS done in small snippets of time. I'm sure I do more with my time now than I ever did when I only had one or two children!



As I read back over all my blog posts from the time of Hayden's accident, I am reminded of how much I was blessed by being able to keep a positive attitude. It was a hard time, but I was able to see God's hand in the ways we were looked after and taken care of by Him and by the hands of those around us. We were given meals and treats, the kids were looked after, Elliot was taken to and from school, the ACC we really helpful, and school (Hayden's work) were incredibly supportive of both Hayden and me. I learned that our people, our community, are one of the biggest blessings in our lives. I had thought I already knew that, but to see everyone in action was both humbling and incredible.



One year later, we only have small reminders of Hayden's concussion: a positively disgusting scar on his chin (thankfully hidden mostly by his beard), a small one above his eye, a couple on his hands and arms, a few moments of forgetfulness, an occasional tendency to get overwhelmed in busy situations. We don't know if those last ones will be with Hayden forever, or if they will fade away over the next year or two.



Overall, it's very good to have last year behind us. I'm glad to have had it and for the lessons we learned, but I'll take a simple year now please! And yes, Hayden does still ride his bike - and I do tell him more often to be careful.


25 March 2014

On Happy Beginnings...

It's been a very long time since I wrote an update on my journey to finding my birth mother, B. I figured it was about time to sit down and bang it out! Would you like a quick recap? I was adopted at birth and in 2012 began the process of tracking down my birth-mother (for privacy, I refer to her as B - for Birth-mother), and you followed along my journey as I sent off the first letter and received the first reply! It was incredible.

I know the generally accepted nice thing about stories is the happy ending, but in this case the process of finding B has turned into a happy beginning. I found her - and it's WONDERFUL. Now we begin a new process of getting to know each other.


source L R

Since I last wrote about being in touch with B, we've talked on the phone a few times which has been so great. I was nervous at first - I somehow always find talking on the phone really awkward - but it's so easy to talk to B! We both agree that if we had all day we would certainly not run out of things to talk about. Hearing B's voice is pretty special. She has a smiley voice. :)

We've been exchanging letters as well as talking on the phone - though I'm a lot slower at replying, as anyone who knows me will verify! I still get the same thrill when I open the letterbox and see a letter from B as I did the very first time she wrote. Snail mail is really quite exciting! However, we are going to get set up with email soon so that we can correspond a bit more immediately. Letters are so lovely, but email is instant. :)


source

I was saying to Hayden the other day, now that I'm in touch with B and we're beginning to develop a relationship, I feel like this fundamental part of me has altered. My whole life up until now has involved knowing I was adopted but not knowing anything about who or where I came from. It's like I was a clean start; I had no generational family history behind me. Just me. Though I know and love the family history I have been given - because the family I'm a part of will always be my Family. Now though, I have answers and a place for my genetic family that were never there. And not just names, but real people, with the possibility of real, loving relationships.

It's hard to explain, particularly because I feel like however I express it I'll be expressing my loyalty in the wrong direction. Is it like when you get married, and your husband's family becomes your family too, and you love them? Maybe. Is it like when you have another baby and your heart expands to make room for the new one, without losing anything for the first one? Possibly.

Anyway, what it is at the moment, is fabulous. I'm so excited to have this amazing relationship with B who is just so lovely. We - me (especially me) and Hayden, and my parents and grandparents - are just so excited to meet her. I think it will be so surreal! Only a few months time! Later this year!! Squeeeeeee! I've heard that when you meet your birth mother you realise that she smells right... I'll give her a big whiff and let you know! ;)


~~~~~

Check out the Adoption & Me tab at the top of the page for the rest of the posts in this series.

(Also, I know I haven't yet answered any of the questions here on this post (where I asked for questions from you!) so I promise that's next on my list of adoption posts!)